Hi people, and indeed, fans, dare I say. I'm pleased you find my ramblings (product of a diseased mind) somewhat entertaining. I intended to have another photie but my editor, Bailey the Persian, stuffed up. I will, in the course of events, be parking one of my paws a couple of inches up his colon, just to ginger him up a wee bit and ensure he gets it right in future. I've told him I can get an immigrant moggy to do his job for less biscuits. He does react positively to the odd threat!!
However. onto this weeks' moan. We watched the annual Soap Awards this week. Thank God it's an annual event and not more
regular. The soaps themselves are bad enough but to watch them getting some sort of present for doing them, well I don't know. It was, however, sad to see Deirdre Barlow and Jim Branning had departed. Things can only get worse when you lose two stalwarts like them. But don't they go on when they get up on their hind legs and start thanking the bleeding universe! Just take that lump of whatever it was and leg it. At least none of them got so carried away they did a back flip to celebrate like Madge did!!! Now that was class!!!!! On a personal note, Me and the editor tend to only watch Emmerdale. Corrie is too far fetched now, totally unbelievable, Eastenders is so depressing, and the whispering gruff voices, (sounds like they've all got a bug). Bring back Dr Legge I say, he'd soon cure them. Mind you, if this soap was shown in Calais, it would turn most of these hopeful illegals away. Who wants to live in an environment like that. If this is London, I'm away back to Italy!!!! I believe there is a magazine dedicated purely to soap programmes. Deep joy!! Don't they think we suffer enough? Some bright spark said on telly a while ago that soaps are a form of escapism. Poor sods if they feel they have to escape to that. There is no doubt that they do work hard on these things and cover modern day issues, but there are too many really. Why not put on something different like Crufts replays. Mind you, there's bound to be a fair lump of skullduggery behind the facade there no doubt. But no Labradooles, sprockets or any of that ilk.
To be honest, being a writer of some note, I do feel that telly is going down the tubes. There are more adverts than programmes, and more repeats than adverts. It's getting more like the US. Most people, I believe, record watchable programmes so they can cut out the adverts. When there is a watchable programme that is. Take these "reality" programmes. Whose yardstick for reality are they using. All these oddities from Essex and Chelsea clothed in the sort of sartorial elegance you can only buy in Rochdale, during the hours of darkness, and bleating about their problems and failed romances and any amount of crap. These are titled "Celebrities". It's enough to give you an impacted anal gland!!!!
Who dreams these things up, and what's more to the point, who watches them? Then there are these "Shore" programmes. Young people pissed as bandits puking up in every colour of the rainbow, showing their arses to all and sundry, and some of them really should be covered up, and this is supposed to be what the great British public want to watch!! Times really are a changing. Big Brother! My liver, it's like a labour party dinner. The things some morons do for money. Then they become celebrities. What a vastly overused word that is. They have no acting skills or training, they don't sing, they have no particular celebrity assets. they degrade the people who are celebrities And don't get me started on the use of the word (Diva). Shirley Bassey is a diva, Tina Turner,Celine Dion, Cher, Kiri Tekanuwa, Lesley Garret, these are divas. Not these "reality" people. Mostly, they look like they are in the process of coughing up a fur ball when they're trying to act. Can't
Simon Cowell do anything with them, such as sign them up for Mogadishu's Got Talent!!!!!!
Well folks, it's time to hit the sack, need a leak first and its a howling gale outside, but needs must. If I don't, TOF will do me a mischief with his mallet. Life is NOT always a beach.
Barney.
